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In the case of marriage breakdown where there are children involved, there is always the question as to how much information should the children be made aware of. Factors in deciding on what to tell the children and how much detail to go into really depends upon their age and level of maturity. In most occasions many feel it is important to keep the children informed right through the separation process and also on any issues that may occur after the separation has been completed.

Jane Flemming, one of the members of the Family Law team at Sydney Mitchell Solicitors tells of a case where it was proved that the children really did deserve to know.

An unusual family case in the Court of Appeal considered the possible effect on children when finding out information about their father in an unstructured, rather than a planned, way.

The father had been married to the children's mother for seven years prior to the break-up of the marriage, after the divorce the children lived with their mother. The father wished to live as a woman and underwent gender reassignment surgery. The mother's reaction to this was such that it was considered advisable that she should seek professional help to enable her to deal with the situation.

The question arose as to how the children should be made aware of their father's change of gender. The family doctor favoured the children being told promptly, with professional help being given to assist them in coping with the altered circumstances. The mother opposed this, arguing that the children should not be told. In the lower court, the judge imposed a suspension on them being told for 20 months, during which time the father's contact was limited to sending them Christmas, birthday and Easter cards. At the end of the 20 month period, the mother was to produce a statement outlining how the children were to be made aware of their father's situation.

The father appealed against the decision, fearing that the children might suffer psychological damage if they were to find out about his new circumstances in an unstructured way - for example from other children at school. The Court of Appeal agreed that the children had the right to be told promptly and that professional help should be obtained to enable this to be done in a supportive way. In the Court's view, the judge in the lower court had been wrong to reject the recommendations of the family doctor. The decision left the children unprotected from the potential adverse effects of a 'shock' disclosure.

Issues surrounding family break-up can often be difficult. For advice on all family law issues, please contact Jane Flemming at Sydney Mitchell on 0121 698 2200 or via email to j.flemming@sydneymitchell.co.uk

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